It’s shocking, frightening and oddly riveting how much we don’t know about our own earth. One of the most striking examples of this ignorance is our limited knowledge of the world’s oceans. Much of the ocean floor is unexplored and unmapped, and scientists continue to find new species of life on their voyages through the deep. This story tells of a recent voyage in Indonesia, where a group of scientists/technicians from the Bay Area studied the hydrothermal vent communities (of organisms) thriving off the energy of the undersea volcano, Kawio Barat. They got images and plant/animal samples that would add to our understanding of the deep-sea picture.
The story, written by David Perlman of the San Francisco Chronicle, could be better written. It is clear why New York Times holds the crown for most popular newspaper—its quality of writing is unmatched. In this article, it is difficult to understand exactly what the ‘news’ is for the first few paragraphs. The lead is ineffective. It lacks a clear explanation of what actually happened, as well as reasons why it’s important and why people should care. As a whole, the story is scattered and not aligned to a central idea, making it difficult to read. Perhaps the most interesting quote from a scientist was the last sentence in the story: “This voyage has begun a new chapter in the history of ocean exploration that is certain to reveal many new discoveries that will help us to understand why, and how, the oceans are critical to life on Earth.” If that appeared in the second paragraph and if all that followed built off of that statement, this may have been a stronger story.
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